This booklet tells you about oral contraceptives in general and about Microgynon 30 in detail. Alas you are just a teenage girl and you are risking cervical cancer from being exposed to semen at this age, but the man you love told you that you should go on the pill. And let’s face it, you’re so stupid that you would start smoking crack if he told you to. Please read it carefully to get the best from Microgynon 30. If you are in any doubt about these instructions contact your doctor, pharmacist or Family Planning clinic. You think you’re smart and sexy and sassy but you’re an idiot and a little girl who shouldn’t be having sex. I am telling you that as a friend. You and the pill How your body gets ready for pregnancy (the menstrual cycle) You can usually become pregnant (conceive) from when you start to have periods, up until you are in your late 40s. Every menstrual cycle takes about 28 days. About halfway through this cycle an egg is released from one of your ovaries into a fallopian tube. This is called ovulation. The other flaw in this plan, my youthful friend, is that if you get pregnant he is definitely going to be fucking off out of it. His dad fucked off at the first sign of this kind of trouble. It is in the genes. At least use a condom as well. The egg travels down the fallopian tube towards your womb. When you make love, your partner's penis releases millions of sperm into your vagina. Some of these sperm travel up through your womb into your fallopian tubes. If there is an egg in one of these tubes, and a sperm reaches it, you can become pregnant. This is called 'conception'. And get any ideas you have of a happy ending out of your head. If you get pregnant then there are two options for you here: the abortion clinic and bringing up a myopic baby on your own listening to your mum moaning about how you could have got some A Levels. A fertilised egg gets embedded in the lining of your womb and takes 9 months to grow into a baby. As an egg can live for up to 2 days, and sperm for up to 5 days, you can become pregnant if you have made love up to 5 days before ovulation and for some time afterwards. If a sperm does not fertilise an egg, the egg is lost at the end of the menstrual cycle with the lining of your womb. This is called a 'period'. Look kid. I am advising you to be careful in this situation. I don’t know you very well but I think it would be fair to say that when they say “take precautions” they mean over your heart as well as your cunt. That’s all.
Thursday, 19 November 2015
The Pharmacy Monologues 2
This booklet tells you about oral contraceptives in general and about Microgynon 30 in detail. Alas you are just a teenage girl and you are risking cervical cancer from being exposed to semen at this age, but the man you love told you that you should go on the pill. And let’s face it, you’re so stupid that you would start smoking crack if he told you to. Please read it carefully to get the best from Microgynon 30. If you are in any doubt about these instructions contact your doctor, pharmacist or Family Planning clinic. You think you’re smart and sexy and sassy but you’re an idiot and a little girl who shouldn’t be having sex. I am telling you that as a friend. You and the pill How your body gets ready for pregnancy (the menstrual cycle) You can usually become pregnant (conceive) from when you start to have periods, up until you are in your late 40s. Every menstrual cycle takes about 28 days. About halfway through this cycle an egg is released from one of your ovaries into a fallopian tube. This is called ovulation. The other flaw in this plan, my youthful friend, is that if you get pregnant he is definitely going to be fucking off out of it. His dad fucked off at the first sign of this kind of trouble. It is in the genes. At least use a condom as well. The egg travels down the fallopian tube towards your womb. When you make love, your partner's penis releases millions of sperm into your vagina. Some of these sperm travel up through your womb into your fallopian tubes. If there is an egg in one of these tubes, and a sperm reaches it, you can become pregnant. This is called 'conception'. And get any ideas you have of a happy ending out of your head. If you get pregnant then there are two options for you here: the abortion clinic and bringing up a myopic baby on your own listening to your mum moaning about how you could have got some A Levels. A fertilised egg gets embedded in the lining of your womb and takes 9 months to grow into a baby. As an egg can live for up to 2 days, and sperm for up to 5 days, you can become pregnant if you have made love up to 5 days before ovulation and for some time afterwards. If a sperm does not fertilise an egg, the egg is lost at the end of the menstrual cycle with the lining of your womb. This is called a 'period'. Look kid. I am advising you to be careful in this situation. I don’t know you very well but I think it would be fair to say that when they say “take precautions” they mean over your heart as well as your cunt. That’s all.
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